I bonked

This is wordy, possibly word vomit.  Sorry in advance.

Chip time: 3:36:35

I PR’ed by 30 minutes.  Awesome right?  No. Not awesome. That is not what I wanted and I am being a bitter bitch about it.

I didn’t qualify.  1 minute and 35 seconds off.  a fucking minute and thirty-five seconds.

Let me start at the beginning.

I woke up and was pumped. I knew I could do it.  I was nervous but not freaking out.  I had the most amazing people supporting me all the way through.  I mean, they even got all decked out in my favorite color for me

Weather was perfect.  No rain.  Overcast and a cool 40.  Went with shorts and around mile 10 lost my top layer and ran in a tank.

Race started and I was right on track.  I kept repeating to myself  “Run your race.”  I didn’t want to get caught up in the hype of the downhills. I made sure to take it easy but not kill my quads.  When people flew by me I ignored them and just ran my race.  It was working out perfectlyAverage pace mile 1-24 8:06.  

My family and friends stopped to see me every few miles along the course.  That was a HUGE help.  Knowing they were going to be just a few miles ahead, I would tell myself to run to them.

Something bad bad bad bad bad happened at mile 13.  My shot bloks were hard as a rock. I couldn’t chew them.  I tried sucking on them to warm them up but they were too big.  I had no fuel after mile 13.

I started getting a little light headed around mile 20.  I made sure to take the Gatorade at every water stop rather than the water.   I knew I needed something and thought that might do the trick.

I had a friend meet me at mile 22 and help pace me till the end.  I just couldn’t do it.  My last 3 miles were horrible.  I couldn’t see straight.  My right quad felt like someone just dead legged me.  I was getting delirious.

I ran my heart out. I ran the best race I could.  The last 1/4 mile was a slight downhill and I did, what felt like, a sprint to the finish.  I knew at the top of the hill I didn’t make it but I still gave it my all anyway.  Granted my “all” was a 9:15 mile, I still ran as hard as I physically could.

I crossed the finished and was out of it. The medical personnel came over to help me from falling over.  They brought a chair to me and I plopped in it and tried to get my bearings together.  I bonked.

“In endurance sports such as cycling and runninghitting the wall or the bonk describes a condition caused by the depletion of glycogen stores in the liver and muscles, which manifests itself by sudden fatigue and loss of energy.

“Such fatigue can become seriously debilitating… Symptoms of depletion include general weakness, fatigue, and manifestations of hypoglycemia, such as dizziness and even hallucinations.”

I never experienced that before. I have been to a bunch of races and seen athletes fall at the finish, ghost white and just completely out of it.  I never wanted to know what that was like….but I found out.

I said I wanted to run this race and give it my all.  I did that. I ran with every ounce of being I had. I tried hard. I was mentally and physically as strong as I could be.

I am pissed about not qualifying. I feel like a failure, like a loser.  I am embarrassed.

YES, I PR’ed by 30 minutes

YES, I ran a stellar 24 miles

YES, I ran a friggin 3:36 marathon and I should be SO SO proud of all those things

and I will be….with time.

right now I am going to be a big baby about it though.  Snot bubbles and all, I am giving it time to sink in.

To steamtown race coordinators.  Maybe, possibly next year you can have a few more clocks and not JUST at mile 18?  Or how about handing out gu or gels or something on the course.  I know that if there was some sort of fuel on the course I would have taken full advantage.  You are hosting a MARATHON, not a 5K.  It’s serious shit running 26.2 miles.  Yes, you have hosted this race a bunch of other times but maybe you can consider fuel along the course? assholes.



8 thoughts on “I bonked

  1. I kept trying to comment on this from my phone this morning but it wouldn’t work! POS phone. Anyway, I tried to write that this is a great, honest post. I think you should sulk for as long as you want/need. I do not know the feeling but I am assuming I would be wretched to anyone in a 100ft radius. Rest up, recover and try again when you are ready. You clearly have it in you! I have zero doubt about that! You still ran an amazing race, be proud and keep your head high!

  2. I know that feeling. Especially when you know other people would be grateful for that time, but if you have your sights set on a goal, it is not fun to come so close without reaching it. You will definitely get there soon. The fuel mishap would have freaked me out big time. Seriously, you did amazing to get a 30 minute PR! Hope you feel better soon.

    • Thanks running twin. It’s bittersweet knowing my physical and mental capabilities are there, it was just the nutrition that effed me up. I KNOW I can get a BQ and I am already scheming and planning my next race. That just means one more thing….You are TOTALLY killing your goal race. BQCITY for you (just dont take shot blocks if its cold!)

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  4. I am shocked they didn’t hand out any fuel at all during the course.That’s absurd. When I ran my marathon last year I had my boyfriend keep extra ShotBloks with him (I knew the points I’d be seeing him along the course – another awesome thing about Richmond is they have dedicated spectator party areas with entertainment and food for them, and they give directions on their website for your people to get from one party area to the next) so I knew when I’d get some more fuel. It was a really good plan. I can’t believe you had nothing other than Gatorade, that makes your strong race even MORE impressive.

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